Stages
by rye-chan
Summary: One is missing. One is frantic. One is desperate. One is closed off. The search won't stop until he's found but what will they find if their search is successful?
1. Chapter 1: Missing

Stages

Missing

"'Ey, where you goin'?" Raphael questioned as he watched his eldest brother head to the door. Leonardo turned slightly to look his younger brother over and could tell he had been drinking again. His golden eyes were glossy and there was a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. Add the fact that the emerald-green turtle was swaying where he sat on the couch and it was obvious that he had been at it for a while. The leader was not impressed.

"I'm going for a run. After your behavior tonight, I need it." His response was cold and yet filled with suppressed fury. Raph simply glared, or rather tried to; it looked more like he was confused which only confirmed how far gone he was from the booze he had been drinking.

"Whateva'." The red-banded ninja replied before turning around and facing the television once more. The familiar weight of disappointment, sorrow, and pain returned again, reminding the blue-banded ninja why he needed to get out of the lair for a change. Without another word to his brother, Leo left.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

A pillow slamming onto his face was Raphael's wake-up call. A pounding headache was the extra kick that kept him from falling back asleep and from chasing his youngest brother down and giving him the beating of his life for waking up the temperamental turtle in the first place. With a heavy groan of pain, Raph slowly rose from his position on the couch. He leaned forward and held his throbbing head in his hands, eyes shut tight against the brighter than normal lights of the lair.

"Why's it so damn bright in here?" Raphael groaned out as he heard footsteps approach him.

"The lighting hasn't changed, Raph. You just have a really bad hangover from your drinking binge last night." Donatello answered as he held out a glass of water and a couple of aspirin. The emerald turtle took them gratefully and downed them and the cool water in one large gulp.

"Where's Mikey?" Raph asked as he looked up at the resident genius with a look of vengeance. Donnie sighed in exasperation.

"Unfortunately, your revenge for the pillow is going to have to wait. Master Splinter wants us in the dojo immediately." The look of nervous uncertainty on his younger brother's face alerted the larger ninja that something was wrong.

"What's going on?" The purple-banded braniac shrugged his shoulders, not having an answer to give and looking a bit lost. Raphael stood up then, ignoring his head's blatant and painful protest and led the way to the dojo. It was surprising to see that Michelangelo was there before his other brothers but Raph ignored the strangeness of his early arrival and sat down beside him, Donatello doing the same. Master Splinter was pacing as his sons arrived but something wasn't right. Before Raphael could voice his question however, their sensei spoke.

"My sons, I have a very important mission for you all." The ninja team straightened up, alert and ready for orders, "You have someone to find and aid if necessary. Raphael!"

"Yes, sensei?"

"You will lead your brothers in this mission." A look complete confusion and unease crossed the second eldest's face.

"But…Leo's the leader, sensei. And why isn't he here for this anyway?" The red-banded ninja asked, his confusion rising. Splinter finally stopped his pacing and looked directly at his son. What he said next sent an icy chill through Raphael's body.

"Because Leonardo is the one who is missing."

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Slowly, amber-brown eyes opened and saw only darkness. There wasn't even the tiniest flicker of light…or warmth. Though he could not see anything around him, he could feel and he felt cold. He was trembling from the frigid cold that wrapped around him, it was steadily numbing his body but not enough to rid him of the intense pain. With every shiver, a jolt of intense, tear jerking pain shot through him like electricity. It was the only thing that he could feel aside from the cold.

However, he couldn't stay as he was. He needed help, to get away from this oppressive darkness and numbing pain. He concentrated hard on trying to move his stiff limbs. The sudden movement after hours of stillness caused a painful reaction as he attempted to lift himself: he coughed harshly, almost choking on the blood that came up and out of his bruised and broken mouth. More shivers, more shocking pain. It was quickly becoming a predictable but unavoidable cycle. It was unbearable. He dropped back down to the hard ground, losing the few meager inches that he managed to move.

He needed help. He couldn't do it on his own. He needed help. So he waited. He waited, alone in the frigid cold, in the darkness that began to taunt him. It was so dark and he was so alone. It was the dark that brought out his inner dark, making him think of everything he would suppress: his sorrows, his pain, his disappointments, his depression. He was falling into a new darkness now, a mental ocean that he could not escape alone. And he was alone.

He was alone but he still fought. He was so cold but wouldn't give up. He would wait for help and he would not give in to his pain, physical or emotional. He would wait for help…but it didn't come.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Days. Four days had already passed and there was still no sign of him. Leo was still missing and there was no trail, no evidence, no witnesses. He was just gone. Raphael was at his wits end. His brother was missing and there were no leads to his location. Worst of all though, was that he knew it was all his fault. It was his fault because he couldn't accept the truth and tried hiding behind alcohol. It was his fault because he had picked the fight that sent Leonardo out for that run…possibly his last. It was his fault and he knew it.

So when he retreated to his older brother's room, he dropped to his hands and knees, his head hanging low as he cried. Tears flowed freely as harsh and heavy sobs wracked his powerfully strong body. He begged and pleaded with any and all deities to bring his brother back. He cried so hard that he eventually collapsed against Leo's bed, grabbing at the blanket, the sheets, and the pillow that were so rich in the leader's scent and held them; he cradled them like a mother with her newborn.

He cried. He sobbed. Then he screamed out Leonardo's name with such painful desperation that the rest of his family broke down and cried.

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Donnie was getting desperate. He couldn't let this continue anymore or everything would fall apart. He forced himself to get up, disentangling his body from Mikey's still sleeping one. The youngest had taken to clinging to Raphael and Donatello at different intervals, so terrified that one or both of his remaining brothers would disappear next without a trace. It was safe to say that the orange-banded ninja was in worse emotional shape than Raph. The genius intended to fix it…if he could. His hopes weren't high but he had to at least try.

He went to his lab and started working, making adjustments on a tracker he had made a few years ago. There were only a few alterations that needed to be made in order for it to find even the faintest traces of DNA. Donatello worked non-stop for hours. He worked even when Michelangelo came in and sat beside him on the floor, leaning against his leg. Donnie worked. Mikey was silent and still…watching.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was a dream. He knew he was dreaming because it was a memory. It was the happiest he had ever been but it was also the day he realized the truth….

 _The sky was clear blue, no clouds in sight, and it was beautiful. Raphael and his family were at April's old farmhouse enjoying a peaceful day together. Casey and April were having a romantic picnic in the woods, Master Splinter was reading on a blanket beneath the shade of a willow tree, Mikey and Donnie were having a water battle in the nearby pond, and Leo was about to head out for a leisurely walk before Raphael caught up to him._

 _"Where you goin' Leo?" Raph asked with a small, rarely seen smile. It made his elder brother happy to see it and Leonardo returned it with his own._

 _"I'm just going for a walk. It's beautiful out today and I want to enjoy it." The leader answered, "Do you want to come with me Raph?"_

 _"Sure." The two went off together, following a trail through the woods and talking amicably for the first time in a long time. It was strange, like an invisible wall had come down between them and everything was out in the open. It was a great thing. When they came upon a lake they didn't know was there, the elder two saw an opportunity to have some childish fun._

 _It was Raphael who started things off by scooping Leo up like a groom would his bride and tossing him into the cool water. He laughed when his brother returned to the surface looking shocked. It was then Leonardo's turn to retaliate…and he did. He acted like he had become stuck in the water and asked his younger for some assistance. With an amused eye roll, the larger ninja went to the edge of the lake and held his hand out._

 _Seconds later, Raph was soaked and sputtering while his brother laughed openly. With a mischievous grin, Raphael pounced and the water wrestling commenced. After a few hours of watery fun, the brothers climbed out of the lake and headed back to the farmhouse. Just as they arrived, the sun was beginning to set and they took the opportunity to watch and enjoy the sight as they sat on swinging bench._

 _"You know, this has probably been the best day I've had in a long time, Leo." The younger turtle said in a calm, quiet, and happy tone. The elder smiled._

 _"I can definitely agree with you on that." Leo responded with a content sigh as he leaned against his brother. It was then that Raphael's heart started to race and he glanced out of the corner of his eyes to see his brother._

 _Leo held a look of happiness and contentment as he stared out at the sunset. The fading light of the sun bathing the leaf-green ninja in a pale, golden glow that made him look…beautiful. Such thoughts quickly made the emerald turtle blush but he couldn't look away. Instead his gaze slowly traveled and focused on his brother's mouth and felt his own begin to water._

 _He began wondering what the leader tasted like. What it would be like to wrap his arms around him, pull him close, and claim that untouched orifice with his own. He wondered what it would be like to have the elder beneath him, wrapped around him as Raphael claimed his entire being. The red-banded turtle was quickly becoming breathless with the mental images dancing tauntingly in his mind but then it ended. The realization of what those thoughts meant halting everything._

 _It can't be…Raph couldn't be…_

 _"We should head in, Raph. Everyone is probably waiting." Leonardo stated suddenly as he stood up._

 _"Uh…y-yeah…" The absence of his brother's warmth beside him was like a bucket of ice water being dumped over his entire body. He sat frozen for a several seconds, watching his elder brother walk to the farmhouse and felt a weight sink in his stomach. It couldn't happen. It would never happen. But that didn't stop the truth from coming to light: Raphael is in love with Leonardo…and there was nothing he could do._

A memory. A dream. That's all it was…but something was different. Something that didn't happen that day was happening in his dream. The farmhouse disappeared but Leo was still walking, no he was running now, through the city. It was a blur, Leo's journey, but the ending was as clear as that beautiful day: Leonardo was hurt, he was trapped, and more importantly, now Raphael knew where he was.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It hurt to breathe. His lungs felt heavy and clogged. He could no longer move. Even his shivering had stopped. He had long since closed his eyes in the hope that the tears would cease but they didn't. They continued to fall, leaving hot trails that felt like fire on his frigid skin. He didn't know how long he had been trapped in the endless darkness that haunted him. What he did know was that it clarified something to him: no one was there. And no one would be. He would die in the darkness. He would die alone. And he would never get the chance to say goodbye.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 2 coming soon. :)


	2. Chapter 2: You Weren't There

You Weren't There

Everything flew passed him in a blur as he ran over the rooftops at top speed. His only focus was the movement of his body and the rush of the cool, autumn air around him. It was a rare peace that he felt and it was much needed after the way his brother had been acting lately. Raphael's drinking, that used to be an occasional occurrence, was now becoming a regular escapade. He no longer had just a couple of beers but was downing hard liquor like it was water. Leonardo had no idea what brought on such a drastic change in his behavior but it made him very uneasy.

The drinking was getting out of control and a few hours earlier, a fight broke out between the two. Leo was only worried for his brother's health but Raph didn't want to hear it. The larger turtle tried to walk away but a sudden, inexplicably strong urge to get to the bottom of the problem hit him hard and the leader pursued while yelling.

"What are you hiding, Raph? What could possibly cause you to act like this?" Leonardo shouted and hit the nail right on the head. Raphael froze where he was, his entire body rigid and golden-yellow eyes wide. Slowly, the red-banded turtle turned to face his elder brother. His surprise at the exactly correct guess was quickly replaced with a burning rage; it was a defensive response that he had no control over.

"You want to know the reason?" His deep voice was low, quiet…dangerous and it sent a shiver racing through Leo's body, "IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Raphael roared before turning on his heel and darting upstairs.

Leonardo was stunned. How was it his fault? It didn't make any sense. The leader went through his memories trying to remember if he had done or said something to cause the drinking but he came up with nothing. How could he fix something if he didn't have the answers? He knew his hot tempered brother would say no more on the subject. It was a lost cause. He felt an unfamiliar heaviness settle in his heart; it hurt and he didn't understand where it came from.

He decided to let it go for now and approach his testy brother a little later about it. Instead, the blue-banded ninja went into the dojo and began practicing a new kata. He quickly focused on the action at hand and found that rare peace that training gave him when nothing else would. He had gone through the new kata several times before someone joined him in the dojo. Leo could immediately tell who it was just by listening to the way he moved, to his footsteps that paused just inside the door. Puzzled, Leonardo stopped his practice and turned to face Raphael.

"I…" The temperamental turtle started but hesitated, unsure of how to continue. He looked away from his waiting brother, uncertainty and nervousness radiating from him.

"Raph." Leo called out gently, getting the younger to face him once more, "You still have my back, right?" The question was unexpected but it returned the determined expression to the emerald ninja's face.

"Of course I do. I always will." Raphael responded in a way that left no room for argument. It made his brother smile.

"That's good. And you'll always be there for me, right?" The leader asked as he approached the Sai wielder.

"Yeah, Leo, I'll be wherever you need me." It was clear the red-banded ninja was becoming confused by the conversation.

"So let me be there for you. I'm here Raph. Talk to me." Leonardo said gently, reassuringly. He hoped he would actually get somewhere this time. But it wasn't meant to be.

"It…you wouldn't understand." Raphael responded quietly and turned to leave again. This time though, Leo wasn't going to just let him run. The leader needed an answer.

"Raph, please, talk to me!" It was desperate and it was obvious but the blue-banded ninja didn't care. He couldn't bear another rift forming between them. However, it was just angering the resident hot-head.

"Damn it Leo! Back off!" Raphael shouted furiously, "I can't stand you butting into my business all the damn time! Shut the fuck up!" With those final words the hot-head spun around and landed a powerful punch to the leader's cheek, slamming him back against the wall hard.

Shock resonated between them. When hurt flashed through those amber eyes though, Raph felt his heart clench painfully. But as fast as the hurt was displayed, it vanished, disappearing behind the leader's impenetrable emotionless mask. Leo didn't say anything. He righted himself and then walked away to his room.

It was several hours later that the blue-banded ninja emerged and headed to the door. By that time Raphael was thoroughly sloshed on the couch, watching a motorcycle race. He was questioned about where he was going and a short reply was Raph's answer. It was just a run, something to blow off steam when meditation didn't work. A run to their favorite place topside. A secret they kept between themselves.

No one was supposed to know about it. And no one did. Until he was followed. He was ambushed. He grabbed his shell cell and called Raphael but there was no answer. It went right to voicemail. He was ignored. Sudden, blinding pain erupted from the back of his head and everything went dark.

xxxxxxx

They were out of the lair in a flash, moving faster than they ever had before. There was no talking, no second guessing, no arguing. There was no time for that. All that mattered was the destination and what they would find there. His dream, his memory was telling him something. Something he had almost forgotten about. It was a place just outside the city where a few acres of woods remained untouched. In the very center was a unique rock formation that hid a small glade with an underground cave.

It was discovered by the two elder ninja some time ago and it became their place of solitude and peace when the usual remedies failed. It was where they went to be at peace with each other during those times when they were practically at war. Now it was a place that held the answer to a mystery Raphael wasn't sure he wanted. It held a terrible sense of foreboding that left a dead weight in his gut and fearful, unshed tears in his golden eyes.

 _Please…please! Be there, Leo!_ Raphael's thoughts were desperate, pleading as he and his younger brothers continued their race to the end. For Donatello and Michelangelo it was a last hope. Donnie's DNA tracker wouldn't work no matter what he tried and Mikey was just lost. When Raphael came storming into the lab yelling about how he knew where their eldest brother was, neither one questioned him. It was the only lead they had and it was better than nothing. At the speed they were going, they reached the secret glade in half the time it normally would take to arrive. But it wasn't a reassuring sight.

The glade was about eighteen feet in circumference and it looked like a disaster struck. Every inch of it was either torn up, gouged out, covered with broken rocks and busted trees, or discolored by what should not have been there: blood. The crimson color was a macabre addition and it leant no reassurances to the three brothers looking for their eldest.

"Over there!" Raph commanded suddenly as he pointed to the area where the rock formation was most prominent. Neither Donnie nor Mikey knew what he saw but they followed all the same. It was obvious to the younger siblings that their hot-headed brother had been to the destroyed place before…they just had no idea when or why.

While his younger brothers stood back, Raph was tearing through the destruction. He threw busted tree limbs aside and pushed chunks of sliced rock away as he scoured around for what he was looking for. As the seconds passed he became more desperate and afraid; afraid that he had been wrong, afraid for Leo's life. Just when he was about to give up, the fear and desperation becoming too much, he finally found it: the crevasse.

It was obvious when he finally uncovered it that someone had made it larger. Whoever it was, had practically torn the ground apart around it until a large hole had been made. What was once a small opening barely big enough for a ninja turtle to get through was now large enough to fit three large men. That wasn't a reassuring thought but it was a much needed lead.

Raph ordered his brothers to get the rope and flashlight and bring it over. They did so quickly, Mikey in the lead with the flashlight shaking in his hand as he leaned over the dark opening. His baby-blue eyes were shining with tears as he and his brothers leaned in and looked at the newly lit underground cave. The sight that greeted them was a nightmare.

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 _You lied…you lied…you're a liar…you said you'd be there…you said you…you…said…liar._

He was fading. He could feel it, it was the only thing he _could_ feel now. There was no more pain, there was no more cold. There was just loss. He lost the fight. He lost his family. And now he would lose his life. And the only thing he could think of was Raphael as he fell away into unconsciousness just before the light appeared above him.

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It was horrible. Blood was everywhere in the small cave, streaming from the body that lay still. His body was…broken. He was lying in a manner that would have made the most experienced coroner throw up on sight. That's exactly what happened with Mikey. The orange-banded ninja choked on a heavy sob before retreating from the hole to hurl up everything he had eaten or drank until only bile was left, all the while crying his eyes out.

Donatello collapsed in a heap on the edge of the crevasse as he balled his eyes out yelling for Leonardo to get up, to move. He was begging, pleading but not getting any results, "LEO! NO! Please, PLEASE MOVE! MOVE LEO, PLEASE!"

There was little hesitation as Raphael grabbed the rope, tied it to the nearest tree trunk, and dropped down into the cave. Adrenaline was rushing through the large turtle as he landed on damp ground. He tried not to think about the fact that the wet ground was due to the sheer amount of blood Leo had lost, the wet ground he had no choice to step on. He rushed to his brother's side and reached for his neck, placing his fingertips firmly but gently against the too cold flesh and searching for a pulse. Seconds ticked by and panic began rising; he couldn't feel it.

"No…Leo…no, please, LEO!" Raphael yelled as he bent over his older brother, tears streaming as he sobbed over the limp, cold form of his brother. Carefully, Raph pulled his motionless brother onto his lap and held him close. He buried his face in the neck that wouldn't give him a pulse and repeatedly called out Leo's name in a broken and despairing way. And that's when he felt it, a weak but regularly occurring puff of air against his cheek.

"Leo?" Raphael called out weakly as he pulled back a bit to look at his brother's overly pale face. Golden eyes were sharp as he stared, waiting for some kind of movement no matter how small. And he got it. A slight tremble of lips. Raph could have melted and reformed ten times over from the amount of relief he felt upon seeing that slightest motion, "Donnie! Get down here now! HE'S ALIVE!"

"Wh-what?!" Donatello choked out in shock before he realized what he had just heard, "Mikey! He's alive, LEO'S ALIVE!" The genius yelled as he grabbed the rope and lowered himself down into the cave, flashlight gripped tight under his arm with his bagful of medical supplies hanging from his shoulder.

"He…REALLY?!" Michelangelo was barely able to get himself under control as he crawled back over to the crevasse but he couldn't bring himself to look inside again. Above the cave, the youngest waited for his brothers, _all_ of his brothers, to emerge.

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It truly was a nightmare. It was worse than any other time of their lives. Leo's body…it was broken. Just about every bone was broken or shattered and his other wounds just made everything else worse. They had found Leonardo alive, barely. However, there was no guarantee that he would stay alive. Broken bones, stab wounds, burns from some kind of electrical weaponry, collapsed lung, blood loss, and a dangerous amount of other internal damage. It was a nightmare…but Leo was back and Raphael intended to keep it that way.

Donatello and Raphael did what they could for their brother in the cave. Tending to his injuries was no easy task in the dark of their surroundings but that didn't stop them. They continued on with Michelangelo checking every now and again on Leo's state. The youngest terrapin still couldn't bring himself to look into the cave again. He waited; his patience would have made Splinter shocked but proud even if it was anxiety that caused it. He didn't want to lose his eldest brother. That wasn't an option for him…it wasn't an option for any of them.

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Almost three hours had passed before Donnie was satisfied with Leo's bandages and splints. Then the newest problem arose: how to get Leonardo out of the cave with the smallest amount of movement possible. It was Mikey who came up with the idea. While his older brothers were tending to the unconscious and very damaged leader, Michelangelo took it upon himself to rope together a few of the thinner trees. It was a makeshift stretcher that was built strong, showing the concentration and care that was only ever seen directed toward video games or the newest prank he had planned for his brothers.

"Guys?" Mikey called when finished with his project, still unwilling to look down.

"What is it Mikey?" Donatello responded sounding distracted.

"Do you have Leo patched up yet?" Not the best choice of words, given the condition his oldest brother was in. His question was received with several seconds of silence.

"You really need to work on phrasing things." Raphael responded flatly.

"And yes, we are done tending his injuries. Why?" Donnie asked with a tired sigh.

"Okay, I'm sending down the stretcher." Michelangelo answered as he carefully guided his project to the mouth of the cave.

"Wait…the _what_?" Donatello questioned, stunned.

"The stretcher! I made one out of the busted trees up here and the extra rope we brought!" The youngest terrapin responded a bit irritably. Honestly, and his brothers called him an idiot! Raphael and Donnie wore matching expressions: totally stupefied.

The elder two came out of their shock when they were almost hit with their little brothers rare stoke of intelligence. Donnie stood to better direct the stretcher and to keep it from swinging freely; Leonardo had enough injuries and didn't need more bruises added by the youngest member of their family. Once the homemade stretcher was in place beside Leo, Raph and Donnie very carefully lifted the blue-banded turtle onto it.

"Mikey, I'm coming back up to help lift Leo out so just hold on for a minute, okay?" The braniac yelled up. Once he received the affirmative response, the purple-banded turtle grabbed the single rope and climbed up.

When Donatello was back on top, he and Michelangelo began pulling the ropes to the stretcher. Once they had Leonardo out of the cave at long last, Raphael climbed out. Both olive and sea-green terrapins wanted to return home immediately but the emerald-green turtle had one last thing to take care of.

With a furious rage not seen in many years, Raphael tore apart the glade as he filled in the underground cave with anything he could get his powerful hands on. Trees, rocks, chunks of earth; nothing was spared as the cave and the mouth of it disappeared from view.

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The return trek home was a difficult one. The brothers had one hell of a time getting Leo through the city unseen while being extremely careful about jostling him on the stretcher. They had to keep to the outskirts as much as possible but, of course, there just had to be a major festival complete with a damn parade that evening. What was even more problematic was how they would get Leo and the stretcher down a manhole. Shockingly, it was Mikey who suggested a drainage pipe that would suit their needs and settle their worries for getting Leo back home. Finally, after hours of traveling, the boys arrived back home…together.

They brought their leader into the medical bay where Donnie could do a more thorough examination internally. He had found numerous ruptured organs but none were severe. He did the surgery necessary to keep the internal damage under control and then once again cleaned and bandaged the eldest. The resident genius then proceeded to hook Leo up to a heart monitor, with the help of Raph inserted a breathing tube down his throat, and then an I.V. Once everything was connected to his computers, he gave Raph and Mikey the signal to get Splinter.

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Splinter had been pacing in the dojo on and off between meditating and obsessively glancing at the clock. With every second that slowly ticked by, his hopes of seeing his missing son again fell more and more. His heart ached so terribly. He hated when his family suffered and this situation was by far the worst experience any of them had ever been through.

It was mental and emotion torture. The thoughts and images that raced through his mind were steadily becoming worse as he imagined what his three younger sons would find…if they found anything. Such thoughts and images sent his emotions on a horrifying roller coaster ride that was quickly spiraling straight down into darkness.

Then, when he heard the front door of their lair swing open and the familiar footsteps of his three youngest sons, he thought they had returned with the eldest. However, they didn't come to him. Michelangelo didn't come bursting into the dojo, yelling at the top of his lungs in relieved excitement that Leo had been found before running off to be with his big brother. Donatello didn't call for him to inform him of Leo's condition and explain that the leader would be alright in the end. Raphael didn't come to him in person, telling him that Leo was back in voice barely restrained with emotion and eyes brimming with relieved tears.

Nothing happened. Splinter dropped to his hands and knees as his eyes clouded over. Tears fell quickly, silently to the floor as his elderly frame shook from no longer suppressed sobs. He could no longer reign in his pain, his intense feeling of loss. His worst nightmare finally came true. He had lost one of his sons and he no answers.

"Sensei?" Splinter felt his heart stop as he was called and quickly stood before rushing to the dojo door. Michelangelo met him at the dojo entrance looking tired but…relieved? He couldn't speak and waited to hear his youngest son's next words with bated breath.

"We found him."

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Final chapter coming soon! :)


	3. Chapter 3: Devastating Reunion

Devastating Reunion

Five months. It had been five months to the day since they had finally found Leo after he had gone missing…and he still wouldn't wake up. He was in a coma, a worse coma than the first when Shredder had attacked him while out on his own a few years ago. They found their big brother but they still didn't have him back. Master Splinter told them that they should at least be thankful that he was even alive. That didn't sit well with Raphael. Yes, Leonardo was alive. Yes, he was back home. But that still wasn't good enough.

xxxxxxx

He barely ate. He barely slept. It was rare to even see him away from the eldest's side. He couldn't bring himself to go anywhere at all. His fears still held too strong a hold on his mind. He avoided sleep when he could, his nightmares coming to life and waking him with ghastly images of Leo's corpse. These days, he would constantly wake from his restless sleep with clouded eyes and a very damp mask. Keeping close to his brother, seeing him almost fully recovered physically but not mentally; it was the one thing that would ease his fears…but it also fueled them.

"Please, Leo…wake up." Raphael whispered every day to his brother, directly into his ear. Every day was a disappointment and his pain would increase, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened. I know it's my fault you went out that night and got hurt! Please…wake up. Wake up so I can tell you that!" His voice was breaking as tears fell once more. What else could he do? "Leo, I swear if you wake up, I'll tell you everything! I'll never even look at alcohol again! I haven't! You can hate me, be mad at me, yell at me! Just wake up… ** _please_**!"

He buried his face in his hands, suppressed sobs making his entire body tremble. He didn't pay attention to anything except the fact that Leo wouldn't wake up. The baby-blue eyes that watched from the door of the medical bay held a deep sorrow as their owner gazed at his two eldest brothers: one motionless, comatose and the other falling apart. It hurt to see, it hurt to feel…so he walked away.

xxxxxxx

"Hey…Donnie?" The resident genius looked up from his computer at the clear hesitation in his little brother's voice.

"What's wrong Mikey?" Donatello asked in concern as the orange-banded ninja came into his brother's room and sat beside him. The sea-green turtle was quiet for a time, trying to get his worries into a verbal statement that made sense.

"Do you think…will Leo ever wake up?" The question was quiet, spoken softly as if he had mentioned a terrible taboo. It hurt to hear.

"I don't know Mikey. I've been trying to find answers but all I've found is how to care and treat comatose patients…not how to get them to wake up." The purple-banded ninja responded. He wished he had something else to say, something positive for a change.

"What about Raph? He's not sleeping, barely eating, and I don't think he's left Leo's side longer than a few seconds, if that! I want to help him but I don't know what to do!" Michelangelo was in tears by the time he finished and Donatello pulled him into his arms. The olive-green turtle held his little brother close as he cried, for once not knowing to what to say.

"I just want Leo back! I want Raph back!" Mikey cried out as he buried his face in the crook of Donnie's neck.

"I know Mikey…so do I." Donnie responded as his own tears began to fall.

xxxxxxx

 _"_ _I'm in love with him. I'm actually in love with my brother." Leonardo stared at his shocked face in the mirror as he finally understood. Every smile he received, every small and lingering touch on his skin: they sent a shock of electricity through his entire being. That was why the fights hurt so much more than they used to._

 _It was after that day at the farmhouse. The day he and Raphael had spent together. Their peaceful walk, the fun water battle, and then on the swinging bench watching the sunset. He didn't want the day to end…at least not like it did. No, the realization that he was in love with his brother only hit after picturing the two of them together._

 _He imagined taking Raphael's hand and leading him upstairs to his temporary room. They shut the door and locked it before the red-banded ninja grabbed the leader and pushed him against the door. A familiar smirk was displayed just before Raph leaned in and claimed Leo's lips with his own. It was a chaste kiss at first, slow and delicate but it quickly became far more passionate as need was released._

 _Their gear was hastily removed and tossed aside as their bodies ground together making both groan in pleasure at the feeling. Things continued to escalate until Leonardo imagined being beneath Raphael's powerful body. He imagined the emerald ninja slipping his slicked up fingers into his tight ass, stretching him for something larger. He imagined those skillful fingers being removed and a hot, throbbing erection rubbing against his hole before pushing in at long last. In his mind's eye he saw it all happening._

 _But it didn't. It was just a scene, a fantasy that flashed through his mind as he sat beside his younger brother. He quickly stood up from the swinging bench and told the larger ninja they should head in, "Everyone is probably waiting."_

 _Late that evening, after a cold shower, Leonardo stood before the bathroom mirror. His face was still flushed from his activities in the streaming water, the coldness of it doing nothing to calm him. He was shocked. Stunned by his thoughts for his younger brother and the sheer intensity of his need for him. However, it wasn't the powerful physicality that shocked him most. It was the emotion, the overwhelming feelings that left him breathless that were the most shocking and difficult to accept._

 _"_ _I…I'm in love with Raph…"_

xxxxxxx

It was terrifying. There was nothing but an impenetrable darkness everywhere he looked. There was no sound, no feeling other than the fear that made his heartbeat quicken to a hammering pace in his chest. He was so lost and no matter what direction he ran in, there was no escape…there was no way out. He needed help, he needed light.

 _"_ _Leo…"_ That voice, he knew that voice… _"Please Leo, wake up!"_ He didn't understand. He wasn't sleeping. He was trapped.

 _Please…someone find me…Raph…where are you?!_ He was yelling…he knew he was yelling but his voice held no volume, there was no sound. _RAPHAEL!_ He screamed with such intensity that had there been sound, his voice box would have hurt after. He screamed in silence and as he did so, allowed his feelings to be released in the process. He let them wash over and surround him as tears started to fall. He needed him, needed to see Raphael again even for just a moment. It was a desperate and despairing desire. It was his only light in the dark…and he chased after it.

xxxxxxx

Something jolted him awake. It felt as if someone roughly pushed his head to the side after knocking into him. He became quite furious in record time and was about to start shouting at Michelangelo but…he wasn't there. No one was in the medical bay except for Leo and himself. Confusion quickly replacing his fury, Raphael lifted his hand and felt where he had been hit. He wasn't imagining things…but what the hell?! A sudden thought struck then, one that left a lump in his throat and a beyond hopeful weight in his chest. The red-banded turtle slowly turned to look at his elder brother's face and felt his jaw drop.

xxxxxxx

It was blurry…really blurry; everything was. All the colors and shapes around him were blended together like a child's finger-painting. It was disorienting and making him feel sick. With every minute that passed he could feel his temperature rising and his stomach lurching uncomfortably. It was too hot and he tried to move but his entire body felt as heavy as a ton of lead. He only managed to jerk his arm and felt that he had hit something.

He heard something that sounded like a grunt and fought to clear his vision to see where the sound had come from…or rather who. Bleary amber-brown eyes slowly opened halfway, blinking constantly to clear his sight. After what seemed like hours, Leonardo's vision finally cleared and the sight that greeted him left him feeling uneasy and very apprehensive.

xxxxxxx

Donatello was reading one page after another from every book and website he could find in order to find a way to help his oldest brother wake up. But there was nothing. There were only suggestions, mere guesses of people who couldn't really say for sure if what they did actually worked or if it was just a miracle. Either way, there was nothing.

Donnie slammed his fists down on his desk, the power sending ricocheted vibrations across it and knocking over several stacks of books and papers. They were strewn across the floor in chaos and were completely ignored by the genius as he finally broke down and cried. Months of suppressed pain was finally released as the genius ninja gave up his search. He failed his family. He failed Leo. He was a failure.

xxxxxxx

Mikey had been staring into the fridge for so long that he had no idea what time it was. Moving as if he were being controlled like a puppet, he closed the refrigerator and walked away. He was intending to go to his room and try to sleep another day away but something he heard caught his attention. As he was passing Donnie's lab, he heard the familiar sound of crying.

Heart sinking fast, Michelangelo burst into the purple-banded ninja's lab to find his brother at his desk. The olive-green turtle was bent forward, head in his hands, and shaking uncontrollably as he sobbed. Fearing the worst, Mikey darted forward and grabbed his brother about the shoulders, forcing him to face the younger ninja.

"M-Mikey, What-" Donatello was interrupted.

"What happened? Is Leo…?" The orange-banded turtle's voice caught in his throat, unable to ask what he feared. His brother understood immediately.

"No, Mikey. It's not that. Leo's…still in the coma. I just…I…I can't find anything to bring him out of it!" Donatello broke down once more, burying his face in his hands as tears streamed down. Understanding dawned on the youngest ninja then and he pulled his older brother into his arms.

"It's not your fault. You tried, y-you did your best…" Mikey struggled out as he felt his throat constrict with emotion. He hugged Donnie tightly to his self and felt familiar strong arms wrap around him in turn. Together they stood in each other's arms, both being the other's anchor to hold them steady in the emotional turmoil they faced.

They only broke apart when they heard Raphael yelling for them to come quickly. Both felt their hearts sink as they rushed to the medical bay, fearing the worst. What they saw upon coming through the door left them and their sensei stunned.

xxxxxxx

Splinter resided in his room attempting to calm his overly shot nerves with several cups of his favorite tea. He did his best to keep his mind empty, his thoughts clear. It was…difficult. Every time he blinked he saw Leonardo's too pale face, his entire body covered in bandages and stained with blood. His son was hurt beyond measure and he couldn't do anything about it.

With an unsteady sigh, Splinter sipped at his tea as he fought to keep his tears from escaping. This whole situation was a nightmare for his family and he had no idea how to fix things. A disheartened sigh escaped as he stared at the photograph beside his kettle. It was of him and his sons on a mini vacation. They had gone to April's farmhouse for a few days after a particularly difficult battle with the Shredder.

They had won but were in much need of peaceful recuperation. The farmhouse was the perfect fit. Everyone found their peace together; particularly his sons. Donatello and Michelangelo had gone off together with Leonardo and Raphael doing the same. When they returned, something seemed very different between them. Donnie and Mikey stood closer together than usual, hugs and simple touches lasted longer and looked more like loving caresses.

Leonardo and Raphael though, they seemed far too tense around each other. It was as if the wrong move would send them overboard and headlong into something that could not be undone…even if both of them wanted it to happen. Ah his sons, the harder they tried to hide something the more obvious it was to all but them.

Such thoughts actually brought a chuckle out of the Ninja Master before he heard something that sent dread rushing through him. Raphael had yelled for the family to come quickly to the medical bay. What he saw when he arrived stunned him into silence.

xxxxxxx

Raphael's heart hammered in his chest as he saw amber-brown eyes slowly open for the first time in five months. He slowly stood up as if he were running on auto pilot and yelled for his family. It took mere seconds for Splinter, Donatello, and Michelangelo to come running into the medical bay only to freeze at the scene before them.

"Raph?" Mikey questioned in a voice barely above a whisper as his eyes fell upon the one lying in the bed. Three pairs of eyes widened in shock as the family of ninja took a collected gasp. Leo was finally awake.

xxxxxxx

"L-Leo?" Raph called gently, his voice laced with emotion as he slowly approached his brother's bedside. He and the other's watched with bated breath as the leader slowly turned his head toward the red-banded ninja. It looked as though that one small movement took a great deal of effort.

Amber-brown eyes gazed intently at the one who spoke but there was no other reaction. The leaf-green turtle lay still as he took in the other's appearance. He looked exhausted, depressed, but a hopeful light was growing and shining in his golden eyes…Leo just didn't understand why.

With an even greater effort, the recovering ninja managed to speak. His voice was horse and so very low from both his injuries and lack of use but what he said was clearly heard by the others…and it was devastating.

"Who are you?"


End file.
